HOLY SHIT! THIS IS THE BEST!
neat when cool stuff happens to people who had it coming
Pleased by this news.
Here’s a video for the Oscars that Leslie Meisel and I wrote and Alden Ford shot and edited. It’s very stupid! Enjoy!
Here’s a hypothetical photo of how happy you would be if you came to see Sketches From An Italian Restaurant: A Billy Joel Sketch Show.
I’m listening to Streetlife Serenade right now.
Please come to our show.
WE ALL END IN THE OCEAN
WE ALL START IN THE STREAM
WE’RE ALL CARRIED ALONG BY THE TUMBLR OF DREAMS
"It’s Rick James, B*tch!"
10 years ago, I was one of the people who quoted this too much. But man, is it funny.
I used to write a website about movies and television with the occasional Think Piece on Gwyneth Paltrow’s spending power. It is a website that just happens to be closing up shop for good tomorrow, unfortunately. Ours was a love the world could not understand. R.I.P.
By the end of my tenure at the soon (so soon) to be defunct pop culture website, it genuinely felt like I was reading the Entire Internet every day, and the only takeaway one can have from reading the Entire Internet every day is that the Internet is 100% Horrible. There’s a common sense that the Internet is just a collection of sad adolescent trolls hiding in their parents’ basements throwing digital feces through the proverbial bars, but the truth is much worse. Everyone is throwing the digital feces. The trolls just enjoy it a little more.
So, one of the most wonderful aspects of stopping writing for that website on a daily basis was that I also stopped reading other websites on a daily basis. With rare exception, I haven’t LOOKED at a blog in six months, much less read one. I still look at Tumblr most days, but Tumblr might as well be Instagram. It hardly counts.
And yet, I somehow have not managed to escape Blog Culture, because Blog Culture has become so pervasive that we are all doomed to a wasteland future of ad hominem non-jokes, knee-jerk unreflective judgements punched out on iPads during commercial breaks, and a Smithsonian’s worth of #selfies.
Wilkommen, bienvenidos, bienvenue, salve- no matter how you say it, it means thank you. Thank you for taking a moment to explore fleyrm, a lifestyle portal from me, Courtney Austen Brown. If you’re a new friend, I cannot wait to hold your hand as we run across this busy highway of life together. If you’re an old friend, hi! Its great to see you again; so strange that we just stopped talking like that.
As we continue on our journey together, I offer you two precious gifts. First, my undying empathy. Second, a map to my website. Read on to explore how fleyrm and its subportals can better you, and support you on your path to make the Beautiful Choice™.
the Vessel: Sweating. Grunting. Starving. And then its time to get out of bed. Life is nothing if but hard work, and I can show you how to maximize results from all of the efforts you are putting into your diet and exercise routines. the Vessel is your web destination for blood, sweat, tears, tips, and blood.
the Channel: Did Jesus really exist? Who’s this Buddha that all the stars are talking about? Who were you in a past life? Not Charles Lindbergh, because I was Charles Lindbergh. the Channel reads in between the lines of your life, and gives you total spiritual fulfillment, no questions asked.
the Vision: Have you ever looked at a painting and thought, “I could paint better than THAT.” Have you ever looked at a plate of pasta, and thought, “I could paint a better plate of pasta than THAT.” You know you can do these things better, because you ARE better. the Vision will harness your wild, artistic wattage to help you light the world through recipes, art, and yonic pipe cleaner sculpture.
the Growth: Do you wake up in the morning completely unburdened by any responsibility whatsoever? I know this misery well. the Growth provides the structure needed for a well rounded life by using my innovative Relaxtivity© betterment exercises. Its other people that have the problem.
ask fleyrm: Advanced fleyrmers are encouraged to contact me directly to discuss my methods in practice. Got something to say to my face? Then say it to the inbox maintained by my assistant, Elias.
At heart, fleyrm is not my website. It is YOUR website, as dictated by me. May the spirit of fleyrm infuse all you put your hands to, dear reader, and please share this treasure with a troubled friend. For now, I think that’s the florist calling me back with the status of my bulk dandelion order - or perhaps it is destiny calling instead. The beautiful choice is our own.
- Courtney Austen Brown
After my friend Dan and I met Courtney Austen Brown, our lives were different. And I am almost sure that difference was betterness.
Get on this, dummies. fleyrm LIVES.